a takeaway lesson from Israel

Be unpredictable! Today as I was recovering from minor surgery I had to be present and find ways to not only cope with the surgery and pain as it was happening but also how to be with myself while recovering. I have the next week to explore living in the moment like I did in Israel and finding out what I am capable of doing and what gives me pleasure while dealing with pain. I had a great conversation with my partner today about how feeling out of control takes a toll on my happiness and ability to function. I really had no idea how much I crave certainty until I thought about the Israel trip and the surgery. I couldn't command what was going to happen in either respect, everything was lead by someone else. I proved to myself I can handle any unplanned experience and it can actually enhance my feelings of security and confidence. I think I am actually beginning to value the unknown and I am excited by novelty. I have also been curious about how I resist being the center of attention when something big is going to happen and yet I also want to feel special. I know now that I can choose how to respond in those situations and it is fine even encouraged for me to excel. Just like everyone else in the world, I have gifts that are meant to be shared, whatever they may be, and I don't want to squander opportunities to expose those talents just because of some silly repressed fears and feelings of inadequacy. I don't have to be perfect to be useful. Maybe my talent is coping with pain well and I can teach my children that needles, scrapes and burns are no big deal and the hurt is always temporary. Understanding this refreshes my mind, my optimism for the future and my ability to interact with the world around me. Thanks for teaching me these things Israel.