Welcome to the Mind of the Millennial: Finding Fulfillment by Shattering Expectations

 Picture how you spend a typical day.  Do you go on Facebook? Check out the latest photo spread of the Kardashian clan on Instagram? Binge watch Girls while buying tickets to a Beyonce and Jay-Z concert? Powerful people are unavoidable.  Millennials are no exception.

Compassion: Cartoon Quotes from Inspirational Folks

Human beings naturally compare themselves to one another.  Millennials use this to their advantage by measuring success in different ways. Instead of measuring themselves against one another and letting others choose what is valuable, millennials decide for themselves. By doing this, they are able to create entirely new industries and transform lives.  

Founded by individuals just starting their careers, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook have become powerful media launching pads for young people to realize their dreams. With nearly 200,000 likes on Facebook, Zen Pencils is a website designed by Gavin Aung Than who left his job in the corporate graphic design industry to live out his passion for illustration and cartooning. His website showcases inspirational quotes from famous people in comics and cartoons.  

Than has literally drawn attention to many controversial news stories from around the world. Over 400 of his comic strips and illustrations have been featured in leading publications including The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Slate, Buzzfeed, Gawker, Upworthy, Herald Sun and Daily Telegraph. He has also published several books composed of best comics. Most of his drawings feature sentimental illustrations in support of human rights and social justice, particularly in support of artistry and self- expression.

There is no time for writer’s block. Comic creation takes diligent constant attention. Than takes a quote and devises an entire panel of art from it. His favorite quotes come from American cartoonist Bill Waterson. “A person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success, as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth. To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy but it’s still allowed and I think you will be happier for the trouble.”

Making the World a Happier Place

Beginning her career with Teach for America, Natasha Vaynblat used her experiences in the classroom to transform her fears and self-deprecation into artless performance. After four years teaching inner city kids of New York, she gained the courage to pursue her dream of comedy. She now writes and performs for the Upright Citizen Brigade Theater and co-writes the YouTube clip show, Girls Writer’s Room. 

Vaynblat notes that it takes a great deal of creativity to handle the classroom. She used to take a frying pan into work to bang against the wall if her student’s got too loud. No one in the administration told her to stop. Her ingenuity didn’t end here.

During one particular lesson when one of her more challenging students dozed off, she wrote on the projector that the class was to complete a surprise quiz. All they had to do was write “we do not sleep in class”. She told the class that for the rest of the lesson she would speak only in Russian. When the perplexed student awoke, Vaynblat was speaking in Russian and the rest of the class looked like everything was perfectly normal. The next day, the student fell asleep, again.

Novel Rule Breakers

Millennials are not afraid of holding back, expressing themselves, or being rejected. Being vulnerable can actually breed the most courage. It takes inner strength to take active steps to outrun old conditioning when others choose complacency. 

                                                                           

At the age of 25, Laci Green was frustrated by the treatment of sex education in her community. The way America treats sex is fear driven. At planned parenthood, Laci used trust, communication, safety and knowledge are the primary motivating factors behind her sex-ed series. In order to reach more people, she decided to use YouTube as a platform to talk about everything sex related inlcluding body image, masturbation, losing one’s virginity, being in long term relationships, sexting and sexuality. She uses a down-to-earth conversational style to promote open, honest dialogue around sex. After accruing over a million followers, she is now a highly vocal feminist with her own MTV show called braless.

With every new development in technology, it is inevitable that people will use it to connect with each other in more intimate ways. It allows people to feel closer for long distance couples and can bring excitement to exploratory and open-minded singles. There are fewer barriers and more accessibility to share sex messages. Green has tips to explore sex responsibly through technology. Some advice: send faceless pictures, explore your comfort level in terms of who you share intimate content, be in control of your actions instead of appealing to someone else, make sure your partners have as much respect for you as you do for them.

Remember Matilda? Actress Mara Mara Wilson, now a prolific writer and tweeter, accompanied Green on her sex series to talk about the importance of making sex a positive part of life. At the age of 26, Wilson recounts growing up with casual sexism that prompted her to become a feminist. She emphasizes that being a feminist means not judging women for their gender or appearance but by their actions. A lot of people think the fast track to adulthood is by being sexy. In reality one’s appearance is not for the masses and people are more than what they look like.

Some of the most impressive and authentic people of this generation have been discovered on social media. Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart and Mamrie Hart are YouTube’s “holy trinity.”  These three close comedic friends that also made their public debut on YouTube and now have several movies, podcasts and books where they mentor their growing audience navigate adulthood. Helbig has garnered a massive audience from her Daily Grace YouTube show and is now transitioning to an E! late night talk show. She plans to interview, sing songs, and act out skits with major stars with the aplomb and honesty of an awkward older sister.

This is not a derogatory, ill-fitting persona. The awkward older sister is becoming a powerful presence in the media and particularly on YouTube. Twentysomethings have taken the reins of social media posting unfettered advice, music videos and how-to instructional recordings assuring teens that it is perfectly normal and even encouraged to get messy and make mistakes.

Hannah and Mamrie have also scored millions of views for their equally friendly and funny videos. Hannah accumulated over 100,000 hits on YouTube after posting a video chatting with a friend while making a grilled cheese sandwich without any cheese. After viewers asked for more episodes, she compiled a series of recordings into the hit show My Drunk Kitchen, where she has celebrity guests make food while mildly intoxicated.  Her channel has won the Streamy Award for Best Female Performance in a Comedy as well as Best Comedy and in 2014, Hannah co-hosted the 4^th Streamy Awards with Grace Helbig. Hannah now has over 2 million subscribers, over 170 million views and has already completed a world tour.

With over 900,000 subscribers, over 42 million views, Mamrie Hart has also won a Streamy Award for Best Actress in a Comedy for her YouTube show You Deserve a Drink, and published a book of the same title. Mamrie frequently collaborates with Grace and Hannah. In 2012, they created a live variety show called #NoFilter with comedy sketches, improve, giveaways, and songs. They star in a film Hannah co-wrote called Camp Takota which released in 2014. Behind the comedy is a simple message: go after what is most important to you and find the humor behind every adventure.

When we give and open ourselves to vulnerability, something magical happens; we become more of who we are. Clearly, this is a gift millennials refuse to waste.

Roth IRA

There is never a better time to start investing in your future than right now. Retirement may seem like ages away, but just like your childhood, the time will fly by and suddenly you will be wanting to leave the workforce and chill for the rest of your days. So what do you do to ensure a successful future? Plan ahead. Make saving as much fun as spending and your future self will be thanking your current self every day you did.

Once you recognize the benefits of saving and investing for retirement, you may be asking where to start. Well, if you have a job, chances are the institution you work for provides a retirement plan in the form of a 401k or a 403b. Many companies, businesses and public service entities do not have automatic enrollment in these plans so it is vital that you enroll asap. Why you ask. Simple, nearly all jobs match or partly match any pretax money you contribute to these plans. That is free money people! Sign yourself up for these plans and contribute the maximum funds you can and soon enough you will be living the life of luxury in your golden years. 

Another incredibly potent source for retirement income is the IRA. My favorite type of IRA is the Roth IRA. Why do I love this baby so much? Well, any money in this account has already been taxed, so once you hit retirement what you see in the account is what you receive from the account. Awsome! Remember kiddos, do not take out money from these accounts before retirement age or you will not receive the full amount you are able to accrue. If you take out money before 59.5 you will not only pay a penalty fee but you will also be taxed on these funds. Please please please also avoid taking out a 401k loan. I know it will hurt for a little while, but it is way better to avoid touching your 401k because retirement funds are protected from bankruptcy. Just sit and wait and all will be well. 

FICO Scores

What is a FICO score? If you have a credit card, you have a FICO (Fair Isaac Corporation) score. It is a 3-digit number that determines your interest rates on credit cards, car premiums and home mortgages, it can even affect whether an employer will hire you and if a landlord ill rent to you. The higher the FICO score, the lower the interest rates and vice versa. They run from 300 to 850. Anything below 500 is dangerous. 760 to 850 is awsome.

Debt to credit limit is a big component of the score. This ratio is more important than the actual amount of debt owed. So, for example, if you have a $1000 credit limit and you charge $1000 to the card, you owe the maximum amount so you have a 1:1 or 100% debt to credit limit ratio. This lowers the FICO score. However, paying off the debt on time will positively affect FICO scores. If  you want to close the credit cards, do not do so when you owe 100% of the limit. It is also important to keep the card active so you can use them to your advantage. Charge $5 here and there, for example, pay off the debt and you will have such a low debt to credit ratio and your FICO score will soar. American Express charge cards, however, that require payments in full, do not contribute to the FICO score because they don't have monthly payments toward a credit limit. Any credit cards with credit limits should be paid off within 120 days of the due date to avoid going under water. Just a tip. Remember if you are worried about something, you simply have to do something about it. There is no sense in worrying, just take action. Make decisions powered with knowledge.

Which do I do first?

Essentially, I want to live below my means because I want to have a security blanket sufficient enough for emergencies and year long support. I don't know where this desire comes from. I have always enjoyed saving more than spending. I didn't even want my parents to spend money on gifts for me or treat me to birthday parties and extravagant affairs so that we always had enough in savings. In fact, if I buy something that is on my want list and not my need list I get a bit anxious inside. Is that weird? 

I want to enjoy the work I do to earn money. I want my future children to take on my energy of appreciation and excitement for the work I do. I want to feel pride and dignity and joy each day. That is what everyone deserves. We should not feel shame for what we do not have. We should have honesty, integrity, and pride in ourselves and our behavior. So where do we start?

For me, I have to start where I am right now. I have quite a bit of student loan debt, a few months of job searching and a personal finance course under my hat. The more I learn about finance, the more I realize how vital it is to know and to survive in this day and age. Why in the world is finance not required coursework in school?! It makes no sense to me. People get taken advantage of all the time because of a lack of basic financial knowledge. What I see now, having made a few mistakes, and undoubtedly will make a few more, when I find myself traveling in the wrong direction, I can always make a u-turn. Where I am now is a reflection of past decisions. I have control over what I think, say and do. I see that it is important to do what is right not necessarily what is easy. Having financial knowledge is the key. No one is going to care about my money more than I do. Time is on my side. Now is time to invest and save in order to amass an abundance of wealth for retirement. Yes, the sooner we invest in retirement the better off we will all be. 

So what should I do- pay off my student debt or start saving with the new job I have now? Why does it have to be either-or? Isn't it funny how we always think in terms of this or that? Why can't we do both? We can portion our income into parts. So I can make minimum payments on my student debt, cut back on my expenses, rent a smaller apartment, put some of my money into the company retirement account, hopefully the company will match part or all of the money I contribute, put part of my money into an emergency savings account and make a habit to take care of my money like I take care of my health so I will be ok and eventually when I can take care of myself, I can take care of others. This is the dream. 

Even if I had an incredible FICO score, it doesn't matter if I cannot live securely and rest assured I will be able to function and survive through the years. Yes credit- wisely using money- is really important. Getting a credit card from a credit union, such as one from creditcardconnection.org can be beneficial on both sides. The key is information, not just going about life blindly. Take back your power, make your own decisions armed with knowledge. Not all credit unions are good, but there are institutions that have capped interest rates and can be a good place to have a credit card. 

There are so many issues far beyond what I may talk about in a single post, but the main idea I simply want to convey is seek knowledge and make your own decisions. Student debt is the most dangerous debt. It is the only kind of debt that cannot be discharged by bankruptcy. It is vital to pay back student loans as soon as possible. It is also vital to save for retirement and build up financial cushions early and be able to support yourself and all of the people who are and will be dependent upon you.    

Finances and moving Forward

I have been grappling lately with the intention and purpose behind this blog. At first, it was meant to be a collection of thoughts from my journal about what it was like for me to be in a graduate program. For a while I have lost the drive to delve into those topics and have been waiting for inspiration to hit. Now it has. I know what I want to focus on right now. I reserve the right to change the topics of this blog as needs change and of course, life is constantly in flux.

Why finances?
Finances have been a foreign and scary concept to me for so so long. The more I talk to my friends about finances, the more pronounced I see that most people my age struggle with finances. Not just finances, but money. What is money really? Deep down what is it other than some pieces of paper and metal? I see that money is really an arbitrary construct. We could have denoted anything in place of money and created a virtually identical system to the one in place now. For me, money is a representation of worth. Whether I am conscious of it or not, the jobs I seek and hold are a reflection of my sense of personal value and worthiness. This assessment is then reflected in the currency I receive and exchange.

Money is a form of energy really. What I am putting out into the world I get in return. This return is correlated with the value I serve in whatever capacity I am filling. I will admit that there are people who feel pretty crummy about themselves, weighed down by a sense of depression and lack that actually sustain very high incomes of wealth. The thing is, at some point when we start really inquiring about the state of our days and the way we are living our lives, eventually, our finances will be implicated by our self-concept. Wealth, truly at the very core, is so much bigger than money. Nevertheless, the tangible aspects of balancing inflows and outflows can be overwhelming, complicated, and need to be the priority. As I learn more about balancing a checkbook, repaying loans, saving for kids and retirement, investing, and the lot, I see how crucial it is to be balanced in other areas of life like relationships and goals and personal fulfillment.

I hope that as I learn about money and being a grown-up, that this blog can serve as a companion to others who face the same struggles as I do and that I can lend some advice as I learn and grow over time. Let my experiences, good and bad, be teachers for you about what to do and what not to do. I welcome suggestions and questions and comments from anyone and everyone. As long as I have one reader I will consider this blog a success. Bon chance and let the wealth be with you!

FOMO

Nostalgia is definitely in my purview lately. My experiences are being colored by my desire to be back exploring Israel with my friends from the trip. I wonder what they are up to and I know that many of the participants are able to meet up for fun now and again. Southern geography morphs into the proverbial boulder that keeps me from accessing the top of the mountain. Apparently I never received the memo that the preferred homeland of the US is NYC. 

So what lessons can I take with me from Israel to keep my hopeful, inquisitive framework going? When I look at pictures from the trip, I am reminded of the wonder I felt at the simplicity of daily events- a cow on the side of the road, children wearing ceremonial garb as they ambled around a park, dogs watching out for crumbs on the street left behind by tourists like me. I just felt excited and curious wherever I was. It could be overcast and freezing cold but I was happy wherever I went. Of course I was pretty exhausted but I didn't really care, everything was new and fresh and I still feel a desire for change. How do I reinvigorate novelty in a place where I am so familiar?

 

Knowing that I am not alone, that I will see my distant friends again soon, that I can access the spirit of travel by concentrating on my past experiences, these things help. It can be really hard though. I still have to work and get through daily chores and the monotony can wear on my resiliency and curiosity. But then again, all it takes is one decision to focus my attention on the aspects I crave so much and I can cultivate the feelings again by acting as if everything is new; See through the eyes I had in Israel.  

It has been a couple of weeks since returning from Israel and I keep thinking about what it was like day to day on the trip. I think about how excited I felt when I woke up every day. I think about how happy I was traveling with new irreverent pals. I think about how relieved I felt laying down wherever I was at the end of the day to get some rest. Although I get to experience all of these feelings back at home, I don't get to feel the magnitude of those emotions. The light here is at a dull luminosity and even though I want to turn it up, the memories feel better than the reality.'

So how do I take the lessons from Israel and incorporate them in America? For one thing, I know on a conscious level that I can create the feelings I want from the inside out. I can, at the very least, carry around curiosity and excitement throughout my day. I have been attempting to do this but it is definitely a struggle. I figure the challenge I face here is being deliberately grateful and precocious day to day until it becomes natural. Being around little kids like my friends newborns and my baby cousins because they are naturally interested and delighted by just about everything. I have to make it a priority now to do something, see something or feel something I have never experienced before at least once before I go to sleep everyday in honor of my birthright experience.

I miss the friends I made on the trip. Texting is not enough. Its like reliving high school when everyone went off to separate colleges. I love my life at home, I just want to incorporate everyone I love here too. Make it nice and easy. Life should be easy and fun. I am done with all the noise and disappointment. I am ready for new and exciting.

Israel

Today I finished a movie called a Bottle in the Gaza Sea. The movie instantly captured my interest in the first scene where it depicted students on a field trip at Masada listening to a tour guide talk about its history. I enjoyed this movie because it captured the desire of Israeli and Palestinian youth to favor peace but struggle to be ostracized dissenting voices in a sea of conflict.

Standing out and having the courage to be authentic and do what moves us is our universal mission. This is what I felt when I got the opportunity to conquer my fears and be an acrobatic flyer. I stood up and down on my partner who was over 6 feet tall. I joined several teammates to create circles on our backs. I was so surprised I could accomplish these things and that it was so much fun. Things might not be easy but anything is possible. I have traveled around the U.S., Canada, Italy, France, Germany- but there are some things that can only be done in Israel. Like we were told, Israel can be traveled while using the Bible as a geographic guide and we can travel to the places we read about. I can see that the rituals I learned about in Hebrew school and that I observed abroad were designed to help people cope with the physical world. Religion is one explanation for things we don't know scientifically. For some people, accepting that we don't know is better than having faith in something that lacks observable evidence. For others, faith brings comfort and rituals help people function in a chaotic environment.

On Mount Herzl we were able to take a few hours to feel gratitude for fallen soldiers, military and politicians who worked to protect and defend Israel. At the point we visited, everyone was exhausted from an emotional couple of days and at this point it was nearly impossible to keep our feelings bottled up inside. People broke out in contagious sobs. Rememberance is like the superbowl here. It was cathartic to let everything out. I just kept telling myself to breathe. Holding in the breath means to hold on to the self, to keep in the pain. If I am not at peace with myself I have to dig deep to figure out why and breathe out the pain. I have to stay open and learn all I can to pass on the tradition of healing and connection. In the end of out stay at memorial mountain, we all joined together in the national anthem and journeyed back to the home base to prepare ourselves for an early morning hike up Masada the next day.

Israel

I received many takeaways from Israel. Among the most germane is how to refrain from fabricating expectations because they will invariably be proven wrong. Because I had no control over where I would be, for how long, or what activities I would be doing, I had to remain unconditionally open everyday. Since I was sharing intimate quarters with new people everyday I also had to recognize my responsibility to be a part of the group choice by choice by choice. I couldn't think only of myself the entire time, I had to be a partner and a participant day and night. The people who didn't make an effort to be open and challenge themselves to learn and grow and interact wholeheartedly with everyone else stood out, in a bad way. This reinforced my understanding that every individual carries a power, an energy to change the world around them. I awoke everyday in a new place. I naturally led every interaction aware of how new everything felt and how I can carry this awareness back at home. If I go about my day trivially, I will lose my intention to act from a loving place and I may instead make careless decisions and lose out on incredible opportunities that only come once in a lifetime. 

Our group learned to trust people who were strangers hours before. These strangers led us blindfolded to a breathtaking mountaintop view of Jerusalem. For thousands of years our ancestors slaved and waited to arrive at this place and suddenly here we were, together in the holy land. We heard the narrative of the history of Jerusalem and the second temple, the Western wall and the sacred sites. We were lucky to sample some of the tasting menu of the region, including an drink illegal in the U.S. called "gat juice." Later in the evening at the wall, I squeezed between beautiful women of varying ages, backgrounds, and spiritual practices. Despite seeming diversity, we joined in dancing and singing and walking backwards. We were partying and praying in unison and even though we didn't speak the same language I felt safe in their presence. We were communicating through our feelings and intentions and that was enough. It made me think about all the conflict we get exposed to, both globally and personally. If there is something we see in someone else or some other group, there is a strong chance they see the same things in us. We may be trying to convince someone else that they are wrong or that they don't understand where we are coming from, but they may be thinking the exact same thing of us. The things we resist, the challenges and discomforts may be the very things we have to befriend in order to reach a greater understanding and solve the deepest issues.  

Walking home from the wall with my friends was fun and freeing. We were sharing an authentic Shabbat experience during Hanukah, free of electronics, cars and clutter. I felt like we were celebrating getting one step closer to our soul's awakening by showing up and being ourselves, finding the strength to try out new experiences with new people and acting out of our good nature, taking nothing for granted. We were giving ourselves exactly what we needed and proved we don't have to do anything in order to belong. We belong because of who we are. I wish I could return to Israel with all my new friends and relieve that night under the stars, walking and laughing and having such an incredible time in such a magical place. Together we find our way home.