Seth Godin entry, The new children's menu

This is a post today from Seth Godin's blog. I loved it so much I need to share:

The children's menu

"Here, eat this food you've eaten a hundred times before. These chicken fingers and french fries are just like what we have at home. And turn on your iPad and watch that movie you like so much..."

Of course, chicken fingers are just a symptom. If we want to insulate ourselves from new experiences, ensure that we never eat something we don't like, never engage with someone we disagree with, never have to hold two opposing ideas in our head at the same time—chicken fingers are a great way to start.

The new is a habit. It's a habit we can teach to our kids and it's a habit we can learn ourselves. 

Spend a few hours thinking and walking in that local park you've never visited. Go visit an online forum where you disagree with the worldview of those hanging out—but instead of arguing, listen. Play some opera while you're chilling out at home tonight. Try eating vegan for three days...

The children's menu is always available, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea.

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2014/06/the-childrens-menu.html

Be a pushy cookie

As I look forward to presenting the first example of what my future's work may behold, I think about the kind of character I want to have in this profession. If I am to be a part of this unique world, I know above all else, I wish to be used to benefit the world. I don't discriminate as to whom may benefit, all I wish is that my work helps someone or something- be it animal, mineral, or the random homeless alien squeegy-ing the windows from the last space launch of my lifetime.

I was thinking today about the qualities that are necessary for a successful PhD candidate. I came up with three prime components of the profession: writing, presenting and researching. Two of the three I have been doing since I was a little girl. I used to pretend I was a teacher or a news correspondent or a radio announcer when I role played with my little sister. I loved to write on the board, come up with new lines for the WPAW, the television program from my elementary school and my first paying job was writing love letters for my classmates in 5th grade, though none of those relationships lasted very long. The point is, these skills and playtime antics stayed with me throughout the years and they are still golden talents now. The format may look a little different but I can test and tease my audience with my words and presentation skills and figure out what works and what doesn't. My personality and perspective of the world may be quite different from the majority of my colleagues, but maybe, just maybe that is a good thing. As my stats professor from my masters program used to say, "you are here to add a little bit of da spicy".

So what about that third element? Research is pretty much the bread and butter of this profession. If I can't make the numbers work here, I aint working anywhere. So, the pattern persists- I must overcome yet another challenge. But hey, I am so used to it now. I just have to try and try and when I am sick of trying, try some more. Eventually I will figure out how to make this work, and, if I can't I move on to something I can do, but I will know I gave it my best attempt. I am not perfect and I must learn to forgive my failures. I am not alone and sometimes I have to remind myself of that. My hesitation comes from seeing myself as separate from everyone else, that no one has nor ever will share my sentiments and situations. After a few years on the planet I know now that is a load of stinky socks and I am to ignore those thoughts. Then, in order to tell my story, I can pretend to be the most confident person I know - a combination of my dad, Bill Clinton and Dogbert from the Dilbert comics.

: )

”Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

Read more: http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/everydayinspiration/2014/06/10-things-to-tell-your-wife-everyday.html#ixzz350xfUM9m
Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/everydayinspiration/2014/06/10-things-to-tell-your-wife-everyday.html#UgrSYXtC0q1ZH6rW.99

Silence

I keep hearing this voice- both externally and internally- sit in silence. sit in silence. Sometimes, even in conversation I hear the voice saying, quiet, be silent. Sometimes silence can be awkward. Sometimes silence stirs up anxiety like a monkey rattling its cage and I feel this chaotic energy inside my body, all over. Secretly I love this stillness. I give myself permission- 20 minutes, just be. Be present. Be here. Let all the thoughts come and go. Welcome whatever feelings stir up and let go of attachment to it all. In a little bit, I feel that firey burning in my chest, that restlessness inside and I accept those feelings. Silence. All is quiet. Then those anxious feelings resonate again. I let them be. Deeper into silence I go. It is magnificent! Before I know it, 20 minutes are up and I transition back into my skin. Its like I have amnesia. What was it I was stressing about before I sat in silence? I can't remember. At least for right now, this one second, I am at peace and it is luxurious. I let the present moment wash all over me. It is like I am living a dream. I get a glimpse back into my days of finding the ox, immersing myself in theory of knowledge learning zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. It is so cool!

Silence isn't always this comforting though. It has taken me years to appreciate it and there are doubtless times where I feel lost and searching for meaning. I get restless and stressed, wanting my reality to be other than it is. I am human obviously. I compare myself to others, especially the other students in the PhD program and I fear getting kicked out for not being as smart or as productive or as xyz as the others. Its at this point, if I don't go directly to my loved ones, I pretend I am talking to them directly. What would they say? I imagine they would tell me that there is a reason I am here. I have unique skills that are valuable in this program. I have a proven track record that works. If, (and although theorizing about ifs are pointless, but nevertheless, if) I do not make it through this program, I will go on to better horizons where my talents are more aptly aligned to benefit others, bring joy to the world which likewise brighten my spirit. Remember who I am. Remember my childhood confidence, my optimism and love for others and for the world. Don't lose that, no matter what happens. I am enough as I am and I can do anything. We all have boundless potential, infinite creativity and love to share. This point of view is often lost in the craziness of the world and getting a reminder now and again is important. Finally, anything worth having and experiencing is better when it is shared. Be curious, be compassionate, be who you are and the world becomes better for it.

Resistance plus

I have a vision for gaining statistical skills in this program and using them to produce knowledge and contribute to others well being as well as benefit the planet. Currently, in the program, I have to perform statistical analysis and my understanding and competency in this area is tenuous at best. I could possibly be a bit self deprecating, but either way, my skills are not where I want to be. I have a project I must complete and I cannot do so without statistical analysis. The challenges I face in this area have taken over my perspective in many areas of my life. The consequences of this somewhat ambivalent even negative attitude are bleeding into my relationships with those I am closest with. That causes me more stress. This is a pattern I have adapted over time and I continue to repeat it. Consistently, whenever I run into challenges, I see the worst in the situation and in my capabilities. I complain, I instigate, in short I am no fun to be around. I don't even like being around me.

So how do I change my behavior? It starts with my perception. I have to train myself to see the good in the situation. How can I change what I focus on? Perhaps it begins with acceptance. No need to abandon or ignore the truth. There is resistance and non acceptance inside of me! I don't like what I have to do. I judge it negatively and that hurts me. Good news! Bad don't last always. As trite as it sounds, this too shall pass. This is what is right now. I can't argue with the fact that I have a job to do, it requires stats, I have to use statistics. It is mad to judge what is true. It is what it is. All I can do is learn the techniques, be fully present so I can learn as much as I can, preferably the first time around, (though my modus operandi is repetition), do what I can do, to the best of my ability and let go any expectations I may have. I can't do more than I am able to. I have to accept I am not perfect. I don't enjoy everything I have to do in my job. I am not really sure what my work passion is. All I can do is what is in front of me, accept it, and keep plugging along. Perhaps I may encounter surprise, excitement, enthusiasm- you never know. Life is unpredictable, better not to resist.

Late Day Insights

I have to be a conscious observer of the thoughts in my head, particularly when I am at the office because of my psychological baggage surrounding the office, and especially during late days at the office because this is when I am prone to the conditioned patterned thinking that runs me into the ground and deep into self pitty. Instead, I have to be wise enough to ignore that old pattern and reawaken to gratitude for this job, this opportunity and this reason for waking up each day. That last reason may be a little overkill, but maybe not. If I didn't have this job, instead of freaking out about future laboring over data mining I would be freaking out because I have writers block or no publishers or a lack of job prospects. Essentially what I am saying is I have to nurture what I have in kind and not worry about comparisons, what coulda woulda shoulda and work my darndest not to blow the gig I've got.

Part of my problem is I am giving myself permission not to be committed. This is both outside my nature as well as perfectly aligned with it. I have a habit of picking and choosing what deserves my tenacity and what doesn't. I make excuses for being lazy and create stories as to why they were not choices but that my failure was outside of my control. The reality is, anything I view as worthwhile, I pursue until I cross the finish line. It may take ages longer than the average bear, but I will get the job done. If I allow my mind to weasel its way into getting what it wants, it typically wins and I feel guilty when it does. That sends me into a shame spiral. Luckily, I have been around the block so many times I am privy to the pattern and can catch it at the early stages of its arrival. I shouldn't be ashamed for my lack of desire to do what is difficult and what challenges me. It is human to put up resistance; but it is also human to overcome obstacles and triumph. I guess sometimes it helps to get the truth out there and bond with others going through similar stuff. It is what we do, humans attune and adapt to and with one another. I am grateful for that.