I learned something very interesting today on my run. I consider the clarity and insight I achieved on the run as innovation of my mind and I anticipate more innovation shall follow. That is what innovation is- changing minds, bodies, techniques and so on. When I am fully engaged in the activities I am engaging in at precisely the moment I am being engaged, I can tap into the greatest energy source there is in existence. So on my run today, I engaged the consciousness of my inner state, feeling the energy pulsating throughout my body as my feet landed on the pavement over and over again, my arms swinging back and forth, and the heat building up and radiating out of the palms of my hands and the ends of my fingertips. The entire experience was electrifying. I feel this every time I engage my body. That is why I love exercise and being in nature so profoundly. So I ask myself, where else in my life can I feel this way and access this energy?
More and more I have been recognizing this personal phenomenon and so I decided to put it into action yesterday. I ran, showered, and meditated before my morning exam and when I arrived at the testing site, one curious thing happened after another. There was a class in the room the professor booked, the secretary who was supposed to administer the exam forgot about it and arrived 40 minutes late to the timed exam, she left before I could hand in a copy of my final paper, and, because the exam ran late, I was late for a faculty event in my department which everyone commented on when I got there, I was exhausted from the test and I could barely interact coherently with my superiors, and the list goes on.
So usually, I would focus on the past, all the events of the day, create a story in my mind that I am no good or there is stinky karma in the atmosphere or some wierdo reason that is negatively valenced in order to provide myself with an excuse to do what I want to do, which is probably counter to my best interests. Instead, I fueled my body with nutritious food so I could have energy to focus, I met with a professor and tried to be as productive as I could. That was pretty short lived, nonetheless, due to exhaustion from desiccating my mind earlier, so I spent the rest of the evening in bed with my doggie, watching sappy movies on an iphone app until I drifted off to sleep around 9 p.m.
Yesterday was not the most effective I have been in the business department, but it was a huge triumph for me in the life department! I didn't do what I usually do which is quit, go home and eat dove candies and Edie's ice cream for the rest of the day. Instead I kept present, asking myself how am I doing, am I friend's with the present moment? Can I make a difference right now in any capacity, help someone out, learn something new, add to a paper- anything at all? So I did until I grew so tired my eyesight became as blurry as a fish out of water. And you know what, it felt incredible!
I replicated this present moment mindfulness on my run today, like I usually do, and it just makes me so happy. I radiate joy and I can't help it. Running outside, cloudy, rainy, sunny- you came the weather, it doesn't matter, simply being in touch with what I am doing right now, with the added incentive of capturing a heavenly endorphin rush, really gives me endless gratitude for who I am and what I have exactly as it is right now. That is a priceless feeling. I hope to pay it forward in all areas of my life, including this job I have as a developing PhD candidate. I am really grateful to have this opportunity and I hope reader that you feel gratitude for where you are right now too. (And if you don't like where you are, you can smile knowing that you indeed have the power to change it!)
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