I am not sure how relevant this post is to the targeted demographic, however, I am the only person reading this blog currently so I am going to write about some things I have learned on compulsive, maladaptive behavior from the last 24 hours or so. My husband arrived back in town late yesterday afternoon after driving all day down the Florida coast exhausted from semester final law exams. He was barely coherent at dinner, sniffling through a allergies and a sore throat. We went to bed later that evening, got a full night's rest and awoke early to return the rental car. Afterward we got waffles and eggs at a breakfast place and came home to work. Ed was not in the mood to get anything done. He watched a bunch of youtube clips of talented dancing dogs and installments of the onion and then drifted off to sleep while I researched how to prime a behavioral effect for my summer study. It made me think of how in touch Ed is with his inner body and what it needs rather than seeking fulfillment from external sources.
This insight may sound counter-intuitive since I just admitted he did not work on his law paper when he said he would but on the contrary, he is doing exactly what he needs to do right now for optimum functioning of his brain and body. When Eddy goofs off or takes a break, it is purposeful. If he wants to do nothing, he gives nothing everything he's got and when he works, he is frighteningly focused. I notice the same thing with my dad. When he is doing an activity, there is no distracting him- ever. In fact, if there were such a condition, these two gentlemen would surely be diagnosed with "s.f." meaning selective hearing. Sometimes even now when I think my husband is listening to what I say, the comments go in one ear and out the other. That kind of concentration takes talent.
I am also impressed that Eddy has the ability to know exactly what he needs, in the exact amount, for the exact time span. Food, tv, movies, music- you name it, he just instinctively knows what he wants, experiences the right amount and lets go of attachment to the stuff and the outcomes of experiences. To put it into context, I don't naturally have this gift. If I am feeling restless, my outlet is typically food, though it is growing into sitcom and movie binging as well. I have to be careful to recognize that this distress and uneasiness I feel is because I am not accepting what is, and more likely what I have to do. Usually this means studying for an exam, writing a paper, or creating a survey gets postponed in order to eat, shop, and watch netflix until I have no choice but to complete my agenda or I will lose my job. The icky, shameful feelings I get because I am avoiding my responsibilities get tattooed to my emotional brain and those memories force me to change.
In order to avoid that icky feeling I have found a few things that help me feel better and get motivated to work. First, starting the day with gratitude and a great run. Feeling connected to nature and my body gives me an instant high and I take this elation with me wherever I go for the rest of the day. Second, have a plan and something to look forward to. If, for example, I have to work on a project I am afraid to start because I think it will be too difficult, I pair it with a pleasant experience like working on an ergonomic fitness ball or promising myself an episode of the league at the end of the day. Third, surrounding myself with productive people is highly motivating. Recognizing I too can be like them allows me to get started, and getting started is the real key. Its the same with my running routine during the early sunrise- if I simply put on the sneakers I will find myself outside eventually. Finally, if I complete something, even little things like answering emails or scheduling appointments, that simple act with create a cascading effect to getting more accomplished throughout the day.
So what is the biggest takeaway from this entry? After slugging out in the arena, come home to a quiet space, clean sheets, some hot cocoa and a snuggly nap.
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